Caution: Teenage Years Ahead....Should I Worry?

"Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday to you!"

Caution....you are entering dangerous territory. Proceed slowly.

Yup, we are finally here.  We knew this day would come and here it is. This weekend, my oldest daughter is.......turning 13! The dreaded teenage years are finally upon us. 

For years we’ve been joking with her, saying "when you're a teenager you will be" doing this and that and not listening to us. Telling her that she is in danger of becoming an obnoxious teen who thinks her parents are idiots. My daughter would then look and emphatically state, "Not me! Never! I'm not going to be like that...." and then proceed to give us the biggest bear hug ever.

So sweet. So innocent. So hard to believe that this little girl might change into...a scary teenager!

I've heard horror stories from friends and acquaintances about what will happen when we reach the teenage mark. I tell them....nah, I can’t see it.....really? I don’t think so..... They just look at me and laugh.

Apparently, the child that I gave birth to, the one who I’ve nursed to health when she was ill, the one who snuggled with me just because, the one who always told me everything, and I mean everything, will suddenly over night, turn into a green-eyed, moody, irrational monster that has deemed me the enemy. Instead of being her nurse, I will be the one who is inflicting pain and undue stress in her life. Instead of snuggling with me, my touch will be like the plague, deemed ridiculous and so uncool. Instead of telling me everything she is feeling or thinking, I will be replaced by her friends because I’m "old fashion", "I don't understand a thing" and " I have no idea what it's like to be her."

After hearing this, who wouldn't want to run for the hills screaming....terrified?! I know how I was growing up, so it has given me restless nights, but then I look to my husband and my thoughts quiet down.

Some of the stories I hear about teens these days makes my head hurt and my heart break. There are stories about drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancies, suicides and other horrific things that make you wonder why you ever brought a child into this world; but, then there are stories of teens who give you hope...teens who have done the right things in complicated situations, teens who have made a positive difference in their own lives as well as others, teens who have fought and won against all odds and made it to the top.

So all is not lost. This is just another rite of passage.

In the past, I have heeded the warnings and taken the advice of some of my older friends - advice that I have listed below. So far......so good, but as I mentioned above, we have just entered the teenage years, so who really knows.

Some sage advice from friends and family..... 

• Be very strict when the kids are younger. This is when they are still under your sphere of influence and you can mold them - instill in them the correct values and morals. Once they hit the Tweens, your influence on them will start to diminish as the the thoughts and opinions of their friends begin to weigh heavier.
• Choose your battles. Let them win some of the smaller issues, but never give in on the big ones.
• Never pass up an opportunity to teach them a lesson in what is right or wrong.
• Help them find things that they are good at, whether that be in academics, art, sports or some other talent. Give them something that will help them develop their own identity - something that will give them pride and confidence in who they are.
• Help them choose good and true friends.

I have used these as a guideline and I'm hoping....fingers crossed....that they will grant us safe passage......

I count my blessings in knowing that my daughter has a great group of friends who love and support her and that she knows who she is. This is by no way saying that she will not make a mistake along the way, but it's a good start. 

So, as we start our journey together through the treacherous teen waters, I hope my daughter and I will make it through unscathed....I hope that our bond will only grow stronger as she matures into a young woman.....wish me luck, and if you've got any advice, please send them my way.

From: http://www.adoseofjules.com/