Thousands of years of tradition includes marrying your wife's sister if her husband dies.

Does anyone remember in the 80s when right wingers rallied behind the motto, "Equal Rights Yes, Special Privileges No!" when they opposed non-discrimination laws aimed to protect gays and lesbians in housing and employment? Funny but now they wouldn't dare use that motto because their hypocrisy would show they would have to support equal rights in marriage for gay and lesbian citizens.

Paul Harris
Author, "Diary From the Dome, Reflections on Fear and Privilege During Katrina"

When will they pass a law allowing one to marry more than one woman? Or a man and a woman? Or a dog?

that's pretty sickening/ disappointing that such resentment towards homosexauls still exists. comparing homosexual marraige to child molestation shows what a disgusting and hate filled individual you are.
let me understand your conservative point of view: you want freedom, to be able to do what ever YOU want to do as long as it doesnt hurt anybody... but you want to have laws take away other americans freedom to love and marry who ever they want? seems a bit hypocritical dont you think?
your a sad lonely man adolpho... get a life

on an article about same sex marriage you comment "next, the sandusky law" therefore you are comparing the practice homosexuallity to child molestation. can you explain to me why you mention sandusky on this article if it was not meant for comparision.
you posted 8 times today- you seriously need some new hobbies or a job. if you google your fake name you see countless posts from you on all different towns patch site. you are a loser with too much time on your hands. if anyone takes your post seriously then they are almost as crazy as you. go take a break from the comp and watch some fox news

Every state in the country that brought this to the voters has voted against it overwhelmingly, yet liberal democrats continue to try and force this immoral act down our throats !!

Republicans like this on the ballot so that they can enrage conservatives enough to get them to the polls in November. While they are busy voting no to gay marriage, they also vote republican. That's one of the reasons Bush got a second term in office.

By the way, my aunt has a wife. The family thinks it's great!

I am neither for or against gay marriage, but I disagree with those that won't allow me to vote on it, preferring that lobbied, partisan politicians decide the issue for me. That tells me that the pro forces really don't care what the people think, they want to bypass the will of the people . Would they feel the same way if there were a solid Republican Majority?

Thomas, these are the times that try men's souls

Why is the government involved in marriage at all? Marriage is a religious event. Instead of "legalizing" more religious events, why not just repeal secular marriage?

I believe Kenneth Cole said it best.
"Gay people getting married? (Next they’ll be allowed to vote and pay taxes.)"

So long as all parties involved in a marriage are of legal age with the cognitive abilities to consent than there should be no impediments for said marriage. How people rectify in their minds the bigotry removing a right granted to all citizens is beyond me.

Marriage is a legal contract that can be breached or repudiated. Why the government is deciding who can enter into that contract escapes me.

Those of you who demand the right to vote on same sex marriage equate to those who demanded the right to vote on interracial marriage 50 years ago. Those "concerned citizens" were in the majority back then - today they are considered narrow minded racist bigots. 20 years from today you will be viewed the same way.

When put to a vote rarely will a majority give a minority the same rights as themselves. This is why it needs to be done legislatively. You can't vote on civil rights.

The only reason Christie wants it on the ballot is to bring out the base to help a mediocre candidate in an election.

Just my opinion - I think Christie had approximately 48.5% of the vote. So if the state legislature comes up with more than 48.5% of them to vote FOR gay marriage, they speak for more voters than Christie does, so he shouldn't get to veto the bill.

Who cares...do we NJ voters realize it costs 25K in expense each time our legislatures introduce a piece of trash legislation. Lets face it the dems know this bill wont pass they are only spending our money to embarrass the govenor and the opposite is true; our govenor says put it as a referendum because he knows the dems will never do it! How embarrased I am to be a member of this state

Does anyone else think Weinberg could double as Heat Miser from "A Year Without a Santa Claus"??

Where are our own BERGEN COUNTY leaders? We are NJs biggest and most populated county. Where does the Tea Party Freeholders stand on gay marriage. Where does Bergay County Executive Kathleen Donovan stand on lesbian/Gay marriage? We demand to know where they stand and to support the residents. What about Fair Lawns Mayor who also doubles as the Bergen County Deputy Chief of Staff and also Fair Lawn Councilman Trewinski who doubles as the County Adminstration and Mayor Baratas direct boss.???

To billy mays who says ' why don't you keep your nose out of other people's business? Did you forget this is a message board to offer opinions on these types of subjects ?? You can lead any life you choose too, but its immoral, a sin and we don't need government overruling the voters wishes ..you seem to want to live with a commie govt.. accept everything they say !!

I love Christie. Wish he was running for president. But he's wrong on this one. It's a matter of personal freedom. I cant understand his objection.

Let's keep the discussion civil here people and not attack anyone's beliefs, religious or otherwise.

I just don't understand "the threat" about legalizing same sex marriage. Let me tell you what it looks like: my partner and I have been togehter for 20 years, I work for a nonprofit dedicated to helping those struggling with illness, my partner is a college professor, we both volunteer regularly to feed the homeless, we attend a church every Sunday and sit on the Executive Committee/elders, we anonomously have donated a great deal of money to various LOCAL nonprofits, we both take care of our elderly parents regularly... when our next door neighbor (A very devout Born Again Christian) was suffering from Breast Cancer--we stepped up and drove the kids to school every morning... we both serve on community oversight boards...we live our lives with authenticity and dedication to others... Not exactly "threatening"!

Michael -- For what its worth, I agree with you. Also, I dont think I know anyone that feels threatened.

I have yet to hear a cogent argument for how this threatens marriage. I have been married for more than 25 years, and I certainly don't feel threatened.

Sort of related to this topic, i was speaking to a friend of mine in real estate. He said gay men regularly move into ghetto areas and improve the place. I guess not having to protect women and children allow them too. I know that in the particular parts of the Chelsea area in nyc 30 years ago they were pits. Hookers and gays. The hookers are gone, the neighborhood is cleaner, very trendy and the gays are still there, walking their fancy dogs and blowing kisses to eachother. A big improvement.

Legalizing gay marriage then leads to them having easier access to adopt kids, and then they will raise those kids thinking that there is nothing wrong with that lifestyle ..meanwhile the kids will get teased and picked on in school, on the street and basically everywhere daddy and daddy take them , not to mention a company having to pick up the insurance for the ''spouse''

Michael- for some reason people have a problem with your situation but theyll support a presidential canidate that has cheated on 2 wives while they are ill.

the consitution clearly calls for religious freedom- to me that means ALL religions. religion is an INDIVIDUALS beliefs, i believe my god loves everybody and they should be treated equally. some of you believe god only wants a man to marry a women, which is fine if that is what you believe in. but why do you think you can push your religious beliefs on everyone else and have laws to take away other americans freedoms?
by saying all americans must follow the bible (the words of OUR god) arent you taking away the freedom to practice ones own religion and going against the constitution

I dont think religion should be a factor here at all.

The question is one of whether the government should recognize same-sex marriage.

Some religions will recognize it, some won't. You are free to choose your religion, and government shouldnt dictate that any religion must approve.

Personally, I'm looking for a religion that offers free tennis and discounts to local restaurants.

The fact that our state senate has approved "marriage" is laughable. Granting such by way of a Bill the same way they grant a title of ownership or a deed is irresponsibile.
Love used to be about vows and promises that 2 people would keep. Now it's about a contract based on a decision in a state house. Solidarity is replaced by unity, and how others view holding hands depends on what state they're in.
I'm all for people marrying other people, and gender doesn't really matter. We make our choices based on our own desires. I think it would be okay for couples to marry other couples as well. Why settle for just one partner. Time share marriages are also something to consider. One week a year with someone else should be viewed as romantic, not cheating. Ah hell, just eliminate divorce all together and make it a law that you can leave your partner if you find a replacement. Simply sign-on-the-dotted line and haul azz.

There would be no debate on this if it is a "civil right". Can anyone who commented here show proof from either the Bill OF Rights,anywhere in the Constitution or any Supreme Court ruling that deems same sex marriage a Civil Right? If not that is what the proponents should pursue. I suspect that research has been done and the special interest groups that are pushing this know that it is easier to lobby the politician lawmakers who are only interested in their own reelection.

Bill Porterfield- Loved your "...great monster movie" comment.

Thanks, Susan. I was thinking it should be a musical.

Interesting conclusions--my parents were married for 40 years, had six children and despite the "influence" of their heterosexuality, I am gay with a parter of 20 years. As far as the adopting children, when my very heterosexual sister-in-law flopped with her third marriage, her son came to live with us (literally having to walk past the white picket fence to get into our home!). He stayed with us on and off for more more than 10 years and is an important part of our family. Today, he is a professional engineer (you guessed right, we put him through school), he is married (to a woman!) and he has two children. He was the FIRST of our family and friends to call with excitement when he ready about the legislation this week. I'll put my parenting style/morals/modeling up for close scrutiny any day.

"Rasie those kids thinking there is nothing wrong with that lifestyle...:"? So, when my sister-in-law's THIRD marriage flopped who did they call to take in her 12 year old son? My partner and I (they literally had to walk through the white picket fence to come in to our house!). That was almost fifteen years ago...and despite "us"... he is now happily married to a woman and is an imporant part of our family (he was the first one to call when he read about NJ). I'll let you just guess who put him through school to become an electrical engineer (hint: it wasn't the government and it wasn't his heterosexual parents!).

who are we to vote on someone else's life? last time i checked we are all equal- people need to get a grip! as long as you are a good and honorable person i don't care what or who you do!

ourney asks ''What do you know about adoption in New Jersey''
Well it just so happens mrs. journey that i know quite a bit about it ..i have two lesbians living next door that adopted a boy and i have two guy's living down the street that adopted two healthy, white, american babies which are extremely hard to find through adoption agencies ..i know two heterosexual families that couldn't get a white baby and had to get theirs from another country, yet the gays get not only one, but two healthy white american babies ..maybe they made some good contacts with DYFUS at that gay pride table and greased the right person...very sad !! And no the kids shouldn't live in fear, but they'll be teased and feel terrible about themselves and who their parents are all through their school years ..its pretty selfish if you ask me !!

Well bill ..journey says they have a table with DYFUS at their parade so that's probably why they can adopt healthy white american babies, considering of course they have the cash ..do you know any straight couples around here who have been able to achieve that ?? I don't ..its either asian kids or russian kids, not that there's anything wrong with them, but the point is they aren't getting a choice of a white baby, while gays are ...why is that ?? A

Well jad ..michelle obama is going to cure obesity in the country , or those billions we're paying for her agenda will be wasted ..I have nothing against the gay's ..the one's on my block are nice but i don't agree with them being allowed to adopt for the simple reason that they will raise that child to believe their lifestyle is normal.. and it is not !!

Jimmy

I doubt you know the details and facts of gay neighbors adoptions.

http://www.nj.gov/njfosteradopt/

I feel bad for the gays who have to have Jimmy as a neighbor. I'd prefer children to be raised by normal, gay parents over "Jimmy-type" parents. Whacky lifestyles can be had by anyone, gay or straight.

Destruction of an institution. Call it a civil union with the same rights and benefits, but it is not a marriage.

Gays shouldn't be allowed to adopt either - 2 gay animals cannot procreate - it goes against nature.

Everyone can do whatever they want behind closed doors, but the relationship is different and since it is different it should not be classified as the same type of relationship as a marriage.

Veto, Veto, Veto!!!!!!!!!!

Hoboken Townie- By your way of thinking, M/F couples that aren't able to procreate should not be able to adopt since nature doesn't want them to procreate. FYI: Animals do adopt other animals from time to time...but with less paperwork.

Oh really susan ..now i'm a bad neighbor just because i think gay's shouldn't be allowed to adopt ?? Fine ..would you like to shovel the 2 ladies sidewalks next time it snows instead of mean jimmy ??

Mean Jimmy, I doubt your gay neigbors would want you shoveling their snow knowing that you think they aren't worthy of having children and that they lead a lifestyle that isn't what you deem normal.

To bill ..i'm not saying that they have poor parenting skills or that they are bad people ..i just don't approve of their lifestyles, so i don't believe they should be allowed to adopt ..that's my view !!

Thank you ricky..unfortunately there will always be people like susan who will label me a mean person , while complaining that i'm judging others...ironic isn't it ??

Actually, Jimmy, you labeled yourself "mean jimmy."
quotes jimmy: "...sidewalks next time it snows instead of mean jimmy ??"

jimmy- i dont approve of your lifestyle, and dont think someone with your outlook should be allowed to raise children. thats my view!!
does that mean we should make a law not allowing you to get married or have children because I dont believe YOU should... no it doesnt- so stop trying to take away other americans freedom just because YOU dont approve of it.

from susan : Susan

1:58 pm on Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I feel bad for the gays who have to have Jimmy as a neighbor. I'd prefer children to be raised by normal, gay parents over "Jimmy-type" parents. Whacky lifestyles can be had by anyone, gay or straight.

Plain and simple adolpho, my lifestyle is LEGAL !!

AND MORAL !!

please dont respond to jimmy anymore- he really doesnt deserve it... its simliar to how people once felt about african americans at one point in time. luckily as studies show future generations are a lot more accepting of different races and sexual orientations. people like jimmy will be severely out numbered by americans who believe in freedom for all some point soon and it will be a much more peaceful place.

unfortunatly for now we have to try and ignore the close mindedness and stupidity of jimmy and people like him

Jimmy, I said I feel bad for your neighbors. I wrote this because I thought the neighbors knew your views on gay marriage and how that must be difficult to live near someone who finds you immoral, etc.. By your comments, I see they do not know your views. If they knew you for who you really are, someone who despises their lifestyle and considers them immoral, I don't think they'd want you shoveling their snow. Good for you that you don't share your views with your gay neighbors or they would be some upset.

The Real Adolpho - Well said. I was thinking the same thing myself.

To Jad, nice try...The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State." the case you cite deals with racial discrimination in marriage, not marriage as a civil right..You are trying to equate race with sexual orientation ,unequal comparison, very different . Also this was not a ruling that declares GM as a civil right. Keep looking

Now you are veering way to the left. Nowhere do I claim that I or any one else has a right to dictate behavior based on my morals, That is your conclusion.. Since the proponents of same-sex marriage (and by your opinions you are one )use as their main argument that it is a 'civil right", I am simply asking for proof. Your attempt to equate race with sexual preference fall flat, I know that I have a Right to free speech and a right to practice religion. That is verifiable, The "right" to gay marriage.not so much.By the way ,ask a black person if they feel that being black is the same as being gay.

Bill Porterfield - LOL!!

Please excuse my dads negative opinion on homosexuals... back in 1988 he took me to one of my soccer games. while on the sideline he got into an arguement with some parents who had kids playing for the other team. long story short he got beat up by a lesbian and still hasnt gotten over it. so please keep this in mind when you read his many posts

I have to agree with the idea, from this point onward, of calling the joining of ANY two people something other than marriage. Marriage has a meaning right now and many millions of people got married with this definition mind. Why should they now be forced to change what they understand marriage to be simply because a small minority of people think it should mean something very differnt?

I've been married for 25 years. I went to a gay wedding in 2007. When I got home, I was still married and I still am. That my friends' marriage looks different from mine doesn't have any impact on mine whatsoever. (It was an awesome wedding, too, with poetry readings and one groom singing a love song to the other...and fabulous cupcakes!) What has more of an impact on mine is the lack of help I get around the house!

To me it seems we can only do so much to try to explain the myths, the fearful concerns surrounding this issue that some bring up for a law to provide equal rights for same sex couples to marry. Then it's up to the individual to do some research on their own. Just type "How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People" into the google bar.

Booooriiinnggg!

JAD, If you wish to continue this back and forth, please read my original message where I clearly stated that I am neither for or against same sex marraige. I am against however being told by politicians that I can not have a vote on this matter. Further, I resent being told that if I question the issue, I must be trying to force my religious values on people and want to block their 'rights'. Nothing that I have said leads anyone to conclude that, so I will assume that you,having failed to prove that Ss marriage is a civil right have resorted to name-calling and negativity. Frankly. you are no fun to trade opinions with.

"the Westboro Baptist group (who you seem to share similar views with) can picket what ever they want, it is their right to do so, they however cannot force others outside of their group (some apparently go willingly) to live up to their moral compass".
My premise is not from a moral point of view. For the third time. I am neither for or against same sex marriage, I simply want proof that it is as you and others say a civil right. If you are a proponent it would be in your interest to show unequivocally that it is a civil right. If that is proven, I will heartily support "marriage equality" If it is not proven, I want the opportunity to cast my vote for it> Fair enough?

I appreciate your thoughtful opinion. We are all given the right to pursue happiness,however that pursuit must be in the confines of law. Example, if it makes one happy to steal or murder the line is drawn there. We are a nation of laws and most laws are for the public good and to protect those who can not protect themselves I still havent been shown where same-sex marriage is a civil right. as i stated earlier ,if it is, we as a nation should be ashamed for denying a class of people their right. The proponents of Same sex marriage use this as their argument for it ,but have not been able to prove it. I wish someone would, it would end the debate. If we as a nation desire to make it a law or a right, it should be done by a vote of the people.

how can u possibly use stealing and murder as examples to compare to gay marriage??? stealing and murder quite directly infringe on other's rights.

I understand you want the opportunity to vote on this issues. You have yet to answer why you feel this is your right. Given that other laws granting equal consideration under the law have not been "put to the people" for a vote, civil rights, women's rights etc, then why should the issue behind same sex marriage be held up to a different standard? So long story short, no it is not fair enough. You have the opportunity to vote for a representative who holds similar views as you (either for or opposed to ANY issue). Unless you are suggesting we change our entire form of government to a direct democracy than your rational behind wanting only specific issues (same sex marriage) to have a different set of rules.

As I posted before the opening statement from the Supreme Court ruling on the Loving v. Virginia reads as follows

"Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival...."

One ascertain for the exact verbiage that marriage is a basic civil right of man means EXACTLY that. Regardless of the basis of the initial suit it is clearly stated that marriage is, in fact, a basic civil right. Unless you are able to find more current case law that goes onto add stipulations as to what groups of citizens (opposing genders, only those who are planning to procreate, etc) are excluded from this than the all encompassing wording still stands. If you have such, I'd love to read it.

And lets remember, after Gays have been allowed to be married, in a little while half of them will wish it was still illegal! :)

i doubt it. the more effeminette one would probably get the house and car. :)